Sony Moving Ahead With Sinister Six Movie for Some Reason


Harry Osborn wonder which one of the Sinister Six ate his &%$ing hard-boiled eggs

Harry Osborn wonders which one of the Sinister Six ate his &%$ing hard-boiled eggs

It’s looking more and more likely that Sony is going ahead with their Sinister Six movie. The studio announced that they’re aiming to put Sinister Six out in 2016, and the third Amazing Spider-Man will rear its angsty head in 2018.

The spinoff would focus on a few of the old webhead’s enemies getting together and plotting against him. Usually this teamup is the result of their own ineptitude in taking down a teenage superhero who doesn’t even know how to talk to women. So, yeah, let’s make a movie about it!

There’s rumors that it might not even feature Spider-Man, which I can’t even fathom. What could a Sinister Six movie be about without the reason that their crappy team even exists? Are they getting an apartment and learning how to live together? They don’t have a S.H.I.E.L.D.-type organization to plot against. Maybe it could work as a heist movie, but who in their right mind wants to root for the Sinister Six? I know Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker can be kind of a dick, but jeez. It’s hard to make this movie successfully without undermining the hero of their key franchise.

The one positive thing about Sinister Six is that it’s being helmed by Drew Goddard. Goddard directed Cabin in the Woods, which is the most self aware, meta horror movie ever made. He’s worked extensively with Joss Whedon, having co-wrote Cabin with him along with being a staff writer on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. Goddard knows his stuff, and if anyone can make this sad sack group into a film worth watching, it’s him. He dropped his duties as showrunner on Daredevil for the Sinister Six, so it better be worth it! (You can’t see me shaking my fist, but I assure you, it’s happening.)

So let’s just say theoretically the film focuses on assembling the group to take down Spider-Man. Like the first three-quarters of an Ocean’s movie. Here’s who makes up the villainous roster so far:

 

  • Dane DeHaan as the Green Goblin
  • Jamie Foxx as Electro
  • Paul Giamatti as Rhino
  • Rhys Ifans as Lizard (maybe) (probably)

 

That group just makes you want to jump up and say, “Pump that movie straight into my veins because I can’t live another second without it.” There are some decent actors there, but they could use some heavy hitters for the remaining two roles. Those roles are mostly likely going to be Doctor Octopus and the Vulture, based on all the spoilers I’ve read about Amazing Spider-Man 2 on the internet. That’s right, I haven’t even seen the second installment of the franchise I’m writing about today.

Doc Ock is one of Spider-Man’s best villains, and you’re not going to find a better actor for the role than Alfred Molina. Molina as Otto Octavius in Spider-Man 2 is among the best portrayals of a villain in a comic book movie to this day. He could carry this dumb movie. Bring Molina back! Bring J.K. Simmons back as J. Jonah Jameson while you’re at it, because he rules.

There’s your solution, Sony. Bring back Molina, and get John Malkovich for the Vulture, per the original plans for Sam Raimi’s 4th Spidey flick. Then, have them kill each other off Reservoir Dogs style and give me a goofy Spidey vs. Kraven the Hunter movie. The man wears a vest made from a lion’s head. That’s a billion dollar concept right there. Lion vest.

This is all moot, since Sorny is probably going to recast all of these roles. Let me know who you think would be best in the comments.