Just Stop It, DirecTV

Come on baby, bite my wire

Seriously, stop it. You’re creeping everyone out with your new commercials.

I don’t know what ad agency convinced you that it would be a good idea to make a commercial where a guy is married to a life-sized marionette and they have a kid together but you should fire them immediately. It’s creepy as all hell.

Let’s ignore the fact that the message behind the series of commercials is barely relevant, considering the fact that it’s 2014 and nobody really has an issue with ugly, dangling wires. The reality is that you’re basically insinuating that this guy banged a wooden doll and, somehow, they reproduced and nobody finds it the least bit suspicious.

This needs to end now. Please.

Marcello C. De Feo

Founder and co-ownerr at Untied Magazine
Marcello De Feo started blogging in 2002 as a way to promote his band and stay in touch with friends back east when he lived in Colorado. Over the years, he has owned and run many blogs, the most notable of which was the now defunct FlyersFaithful.com. He currently runs PattisonAve.com, UntiedMag.com and Gearadelphia.com.