Eight Movies That Would Have Been Better With Biz Markie


We are not much for click bait style posts around these parts but, when we learned that Biz Markie played a role in Sharknado 2: The Second One, we could not help but wonder what other movies would have been better if they featured The Biz. Her is our list.

 

8. Toy Story 3

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Tim Allen did an admirable job as Buzz Lightyear in the lovable family romp but what would be better than Biz Markie as Biz Lightyear?

 

7. Gravity

gravity

I said, “How do you like space?” 
She said, “I was very amused”

 

6. Twilight

twilight

Look, I’m going to be honest. I don’t know shit about this movie but the sight of Biz Markie in a powdered wig being lusted after by two sickly-looking, makeup-wearing dudes is just so, so perfect.

 

5. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

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Nobody liked Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar Biz would have made The Phantom Menace not only bearable but incredibly entertaining.

 

4. Inception

inception

Oh baby yooooouuuu, you’re stuck in a dream but you say it’s inception. You say it’s inception.

 

3. Fight Club

fightclub

In death, a member of project mayhem has a name, his name is Marcel Theo Hall. His name is… Biz Markie.

 

2. Harry Potter

harrypotter

So I took blah-blah’s word for it at this time
I thought just havin’ a friend couldn’t be no crime

 

1. Top Gun

topgun

When Goose died, we shed a tear. If it was The Biz, we might have been scarred for life.

Hat tip to Adam Schwartzberg for the inspiration.