• Life Hacks: Afternoon Delight

    Life Hacks: Afternoon Delight

    2 breakfast sandwiches at Wawa for $3 never means 1 for $1.50. NEVER! Hey, if any of you out there have a voodoo doll of me, please itch its butt. My rear itches and I’m in public. Thanks.  One of the most compelling games of chance at a casino is opening a bathroom stall door

  • Life Hacks: Post Resurrection Blues

    Life Hacks: Post Resurrection Blues

    One Friday, I told a joke to some friends and it died. 3 days later, I told the same joke to another group of friends and it was a hit. Coincidence? I think not. Thank you Grown up Jesus! Nice try Pepperidge Farm but those paper cookie dividers don’t slow me down in the slightest!

  • Wanted: Resolution for Internal Conflict

    Wanted: Resolution for Internal Conflict

    UPDATE: Of course, 10 minutes before this article was set to publish, a story broke that the O’Connor family took the $520,000 raised and went into hiding. People are now questioning whether or not this was a scam. They do not seem capable of such an elaborate ruse but it certainly changes the lens through which one might read this

  • The 5 Most EPIC April Fool’s Day Pranks EVER

    The 5 Most EPIC April Fool’s Day Pranks EVER

    It’s April Fool’s Day, and you know what that means: good, wholesome family pranking! I already switched out my dad’s foot powder with sugar. He’s going to be super angry when he sees all the ants that attracts! It’s my favorite holiday. Let’s look back at the 5 greatest pranks of all time all you

  • To Rhino

    To Rhino

    We come here today to mourn the passing of our dear friend Rhino. Rhino was a righteous dude, always willing to lend you his board when you forgot yours, or giving up the last slice of pizza to those with greater munchies than he. When Rhino died searching for his lost sunglasses lens on those

  • Life Hacks: The Purge

    Life Hacks: The Purge

    Hey folks! I’ve been away for a few weeks and I know you’ve all been concerned ***crickets***. Anyway, most of these thoughts have been buzzing on my brain and they needed out do here’s a double dose of Hacks. Never sign any important documents without first pretending to read them. I hope I never outgrow

  • Whatever You Do DON’T READ This

    Whatever You Do DON’T READ This

      You’ve undoubtedly by now been told by every single person you’ve ever known on FaceBook that you should “NEVER DRINK THE MCDONALDS SHAMROCK SHAKE” because it’s so bad for you. It’s so bad that when you drink it, you immediately catch CANCER, and not just any kind of CANCER but the kind of CANCER that everyone else

  • Life Hacks: Red Carpet Edition

    Life Hacks: Red Carpet Edition

      Ah, nothing like Oscar night, to remind us that the only movie we got around to seeing was most likely a crappy, comedy sequel with about a handful of laughs in it. *Cough -Dumb and Dumber To- *cough! I really need to see a doctor about this cough. Fun Academy Awards Fact: Oscar was

  • A Call For Strength And Return To Action

    A Call For Strength And Return To Action

    About a week ago, while deadlifting, I saw something that confused the Hell out of me. It’s not something new, but something that has always confused and bothered me. This particular day, it drove me crazy. What I saw involves one of the infamous “gym myths” (much more on that next week…). The “gym myth” that I saw

  • Life Hacks: Fat Tuesday

    Life Hacks: Fat Tuesday

    I like when we, as a society, choose to ignore the special nuances of the holidays and instead decide to just focus on the simplistic selfish nature of said holiday. For instance, “Fat Tuesday has been boiled down to eating donuts and getting wasted. A time honored catholic based European tradition repurposed for American sensibilities.